Friday, June 17, 2011

it's all in the family

i'm sure the suspense has been killing you since i mentioned i was holding a here goes. the secret's out!

my mom is getting hitched.

[mama bride-to-be, sister bride-to-be, + me]

yep, my mom. and she says it'll happen sooner than later. which means we may have TWO weddings this summer. wow wow wow!

i'm super excited for my mom. i know she's been struggling since she + my dad split up after 30 years of marriage a few years back. understandably she's been facing mixed feelings of loneliness, anger, rejection, confusion, renewal, independence, freedom, and who knows what else. i can only imagine how it feels to break up with your best friend, prom date, the father of your children, your life partner. mom has definitely made the best of it and found a renewed sense of self in the process. i'm so freakin' proud of her. i've always thought of my mom as one of the most amazing women i've ever known. and i used to think it mostly from a business + mom perspective, but the lessons i've learned from her lately-- as a woman figuring out her own skin-- are immense + invaluable.

and now she's found love. i always thought it'd be weird to have parents remarry. but since i know the Mr. so well, it's really not weird at all.

actually, i grew up sleeping over at his house. not in a creepy way, you perves. his widow was my Camp Fire Girls leader + his daughter C and i grew up together since 3rd grade. i grew up camping with them, making macaroni art, and watching C's disney movie collection. i always thought they were such a cool family. i was always a little jealous of my soon-to-be stepsister. not jealous, but envious in a respectful way. or, maybe you could call it a girl crush. from her seagreen honda civic, to her artistic talent i certainly lack, to her eclectic style + bubbly personality. amidst all the high school girl crap, she never took on the "mean girl" role. she was always so accepting of everyone, even when she didn't have to be. actually, and i think i told her this a few years back [after a cocktail or two, i'm sure]...she's one of the few girls from high school i most hope to remain friends with over the paths our lives may take. do you think God was smirking at me when i said that?

i remember being at C's wedding back in 2003--which was AMAZEBALLS--with my mom. kinda weird to think about it in retrospect, i suppose. i think she invented the now famous grand sparkler exit. i'm gonna give her credit for it, nonetheless.

anyways, C's mom passed away several years back from lymphoma which is, well, a bitch. it was so sad to lose such an amazing person. her mom was incredibly unpretentious, loving, approachable, + just a lovely woman overall. probably one of the most real people i've ever known. and i guess it's not a surprise that the Mr. found love with my mom. i'd say there are a lot of similarities.

it's so cute to see your mom in love. i remember sometime around my own wedding, the Mr's name came up and she was just a-blushing. i'm pretty sure she used the word "cute" to describe him. awww. and she always gets so excited when he sends her flowers. i can't tell you how many photo texts i have of the beautiful bouquets!

so there's gonna be a weddin', y'all. we kids think it should happen somewhere exotic + they should foot the bill. they think it should be small + uneventful. which means no beach, i presume. either way, i'm ecstatic they'll both have each other to share the ups + downs, laughs + cries, wins + losses that life still has to offer them.'s the net of it:
  • mom gets a mate. 
  • we get a stepsister--who i LOVE. 
  • we get a stepbrother-in-law, who cricket + i both adore. (did i mention that he serenaded C with a guitar solo at their wedding? uh huh. he did. set the bar awfully high for any fella in that room.) they live up the road in nashville--it's about time we get siblings within driving distance dammit.
  • we get a stepbrother--who is the perfect # of years older that an older brother should be. i don't know him all that well, but he did marry the big sister of another childhood friend. can you tell i'm from a small town? hah! 
  • we get a stepsister-in-law, who i also grew up around since she was the older sis of another high school friend. 
  • oh, and we get a stepniece, too. is that a word? not sure. but last time i saw them at Christmas service, she was a cutie-patootie, so i don't mind claiming her. but i think lula's still the first-born grandchild, just for the record.

so how does dad feel? very good question. and a big concern of mine for sure. i got a sweet note from him this week after he + mom talked. they're civil, even friendly, these days. my only requirement is that they continue to be at liv's wedding in august. and it seems they shall. i'm hoping this development gives him any sense of closure he may need to move on with his life and pursue his other interests in life. he's been seeing a lady for a while, and if there was any reason of him holding back, i hope this helps to alleviate that.

[my folks last spring--i'm blessed they're able to be friends AND color-coordinate their outfits]

all this girl wants is for her parents to be happy. if they can be in love in the process, even better. so,  if the future grandkids have extra arms to hug + hold them, and the grandpups have extra hands to rub their bellies + extra faces to smother with kisses, then everyone wins. beat that charlie sheen.

the sad part will come when mom sells her house--our amazing house--and sets up a home with the Mr. i don't blame them for wanting a clean slate, but it'll be sad to see it go + to know that my future kids won't get to experience all that it was. but there will be new memories, right? i'm sure there will be more posts as that transpires.

so, has anyone ever been in a similar situation? parents remarry? old worlds collide with new? merging families? any advice?

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